I Get Angry - Day 106 Month 4-16 Week 16-1
Today's Reading (Bible in 1 year)
Numbers 19:14-20:29 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Numbers%2019%3A14-20%3A29&version=NASB1995
Psalm 85 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%2085&version=NASB1995
Jeremiah 5:14-31 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Jeremiah%205%3A14-31&version=NASB1995
Luke 16:1-18 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%2016%3A1-18&version=NASB1995
I Get Angry
“Listen now you rebels; shall we bring forth water out of this rock?” Then Moses struck the water with his rod twice and the water gushed out of the rock. Moses, as we had been told earlier, was the most humble man in Israel yet he got angry and it’s understandable. The Israelites once again brought up Egypt and were complaining that Moses brought them to “this wretched place.”
When Moses lost it at Meribah, he said and did things that “humble” Moses would never say and do. He said “shall we bring forth water”. By saying “we” Moses shifts focus from God to himself as an equal. Moses also disobeyed God when he hit the rock twice with his rod. God had given him specific instructions to “speak to the rock before their eyes.”
I have a longer fuse than I did when I was younger. I do my best to control anger yet at one point in my management years, an employee complained to HR that I had anger issues. I didn’t remember being angry in front of her. In the last 3 years, I have lost it twice at the hardware store, once with my boss and once with a coworker. Both times I would have been more effective if I had held my anger. The unfortunate thing about anger is we often say and do things we wouldn’t do if we held it together. I do know that when I lose it, I apologize quickly for my anger, because that generally minimizes consequences. Unfortunately, there are always consequences. When I was simply accused of anger issues, it meant I needed to meet with an HR counselor who would report back to the organization. It was humbling because in that circumstance I had not openly lost it. When I lost it at the hardware store, people looked at me, as a Jesus follower, differently after that.
The consequences for Moses' words and actions meant that both he and Aaron would not go into the promised land. Aaron died shortly after.
Anger is an emotional response. I have found when I can control my anger, I can be far more effective and if I make my point in strong but firm discussions, it’s easier to achieve change. I was a sensitive person in my younger years. I would get both angry and extremely sad. By controlling my anger, I slowly built up emotional barriers to protect myself and thereby became insensitive. In Ephesians 4:26, Paul says “be angry, and yet do not sin.” Moses wasn’t wrong to be angry, he was wrong to not follow God’s direction. I wasn’t wrong to be angry at the hardware store, but I was wrong to say the things I said.
For a long time, I thought the answer was to eliminate anger altogether. Syl helped me begin to see that differently. In trying to shut anger down, I ended up shutting down more than just anger. I lost some of my ability to feel deeply at all. Even sadness became muted. That does not feel like health to me anymore. I am starting to see that emotions are meant to be felt, not buried. The challenge now is learning how to experience them without being ruled by them.
Have a great Day
Steve
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